Through My Eyes
by Arbmaster 16
Summary: Life goes by as it always does. After all, one person hardly matters. If only they knew the kind of struggle, the emptiness, the worthlessness. It's a war that no one can see. Even if I fell to my knees and begged with every shred of emotion I had left, would they care then? No, they wouldn't. I know how my luck runs.
**Greetings, everyone!**

 **It has been a long time, has it not? I actually wrote this a long time ago before my brain went to crap, heheh. But, thanks to two amazing people, known as TheHunterPersian and ElectroDGX who write Sonic and Fairy Tail fan fictions respectively (As well as some other things here and there), I've decided to upload it! I highly recommend you check them out!**

 **Anyway, this takes a glimpse into the mind of Arby, an original character of mine who was one of the main characters in _'Welcome Home'._ For those who have read it, you'll know her already. If not, then this is just a small snapshot of what she deals with constantly throughout her life.**

 **This will be fairly depressing. So, if you're looking for something a bit more light-hearted, you may wish to turn back now. :)**

 **I think that's about everything for now. I do want to start writing full stories again, but with my current condition, it's proving to be difficult.**

 **See you all soon!**

 **Arby xx**

* * *

What was it that everyone else could see?

How could they get through each day still smiling?

Why was I incapable of feeling such blissful emotions?

Am I really incapable? Or simply not allowed?

It never dawned on me before just how truly broken I was, until I had time to stop and think.

As soon as it begun, I didn't want to think anymore. But, there's no way out of here. I gave up trying long ago.

My eyes glanced around, trying to sight something that sparked emotion in me.

Nothing.

I may as well have been looking into a painting; flat, unreal and often out of reach.

I moved my hand out, only for it to press up against the cold and sturdy glass. At least my claustrophobia was gone; perhaps this tube has some kind of disturbing comfort to it.

My eyes wanted to look around again. Who was I to deny them? This time, they stared at the reflection, straight into themselves. They were… so hollow. It hurt. I wanted so desperately to feel something, something different, yet no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I will always feel one of three things; despair, rage or nothing at all.

My ears perked. Was that a noise? It was hard to tell with everything muffled. This oxygen mask was the only thing allowing me to breathe in this unknown liquid.

No, there was no doubt this time. I heard something. I focused on it, wondering what it could be.

Was someone coming? It would be refreshing to see another face that wasn't just my own reflection. Then again, how long has it been? Hours? Days? Weeks? Months? Heck, years were even possible at this point.

It was closer now. A strong vibration. Perhaps someone on the outside dropped something heavy? I didn't want to get my hopes up. Do I even have hopes anymore?

Chaos! That was loud! Surely, it must have been right outside! Nothing was dropped, but something exploded. What was it? Friend or foe? Nothing at all? Perhaps an elaborate hallucination? It wouldn't surprise me if I had lost it at this point if my lack of emotions were anything to go by.

Wait, was that… movement? The door! It has a dent in it! Someone was trying to get in! Should I panic or party? Not that I was in the mood to do either, it was unexpected to say the least.

Another dent! What was this door made of? Someone clearly wanted to keep people out, or at least keep me in. How on Mobius could I get anywhere? I'm about as powerful as a wooden door.

My eyes locked on as the door crashed onto the floor, which seemed to be of the same metallic material. A being was quick to run in and then freeze upon seeing me. That armour… Why can I feel nothing? Relief? Happiness? Just this once, please…

She messed with the control panel next to my stasis tube until the hatch unlocked and lifted. I said nothing as she grabbed me, ignoring the liquid that splashed everywhere.

Her arms wrapped tightly around me as she whimpered with relief. I returned the gesture whilst removing the mask from around my face. It's not like I need it anymore.

She soon released me, knowing that we had little time to escape before the guards figured out what was going on. I remembered that the locker on the other side of the room still held my clothes. Nocturne kept watch whilst I felt the comfort of my jacket, gloves, shoes and bandanna upon my fur.

We gave each other a nod. She chucked me a spare rifle and began to lead. I didn't care that I and my clothes were soaked.

The corridors were empty for now. Still, that didn't stop us from keeping our guard up.

We were silent, but I could hear them.

What had happened to everyone else?

I barely remember being captured myself, but what about the others? I _know_ there were others.

Suddenly, my questions were answered as something walked around the corner ahead of us. My jaw instinctively dropped upon seeing it, but Nocturne wasted no time in tearing it to pieces with her sword.

That was not a Mobian, but it used to be. Were they all like this now? All broken, mutated and crazy? Perhaps I got off luckier than I thought.

Nocturne shook my shoulder as I stared at the corpse which was now… turning into water? I couldn't comprehend it. I had to focus on her. I had to or otherwise I might just lose myself right there and then.

We continued onward, hopefully searching for an exit. We were heading up our fourth flight of stairs. That had to be a good sign, right?

There was an enormous hole in the wall to the left. We had just got up the stairs. You couldn't miss it really. Something, far bigger than either of us, had broken out of here. Perhaps another mutilated soul? Nocturne didn't seem phased by it at all and just walked through it into the sewer tunnels. I had to do the same as I kept my weapon handy. I didn't want to shoot anything or anyone, but holding it in my hands made me feel safer somehow. It helped knowing that I could defend myself if I needed to.

The smell soon caught my attention. It was nothing short of stomach-churning. I was envying Nocturne's helmet right about now. I followed anyway, not really having a choice; not that I wanted one.

I knew seeing the outside world was going to feel weird. Part of me was used to that little tube of a home, a little too used to it now that I have the chance to think. I hate thinking.

It wasn't too long before a few guard robots took my mind off things and began firing death upon us. Nocturne's aim was remarkable. Her gun clearly was worse when it came to recoil, but she took it in her stride and hit the robot in its exposed core on its torso. I tried to deal with the second, but it felt as if my bullets were doing nothing at all.

Oh, isn't that feeling of uselessness just perfect? A heavy sigh showed my sadness as Nocturne had to take out the obstacle for me. Can I do nothing right?

My sibling gently took my gun and gave it a look. She merely shrugged and gave me her gun instead. I glanced down at it, knowing somehow that it would dislocate one or both of my shoulders. How pleasant…

I stayed behind her as we travelled through the dark and damp tunnels. At least Nocturne's helmet had a small flashlight on the side. She followed the light and I followed her.

More robots, what else is new? These ones weren't any fun either. At least with Eggman's robots, there was that chance of finding one that wasn't quite programmed properly. As a result, you could have a friendly conversation with it, maybe even take it home. None of that with G.U.N. They have to be disciplined, programmed perfectly. No room for personality here.

What on Mobius is going on? I have Nocturne's gun, right? How is it that I am still doing nothing, yet she can take them out in half a second? She stared at me once they were taken care of, utterly bewildered.

Another shrug. I swear she used to be more talkative. Just how long was I down here for?

Her arm extends until she's pointing to a ladder. I could see the orange of a streetlight above shining down like a beacon.

This was it. The outside world.

Never have I felt number…

She climbed up first to make sure the street was clear. I soon got the signal and began to ascend. The light temporarily burning my eyes. It felt oddly comforting.

I pushed myself back onto my feet and stared at the G.U.N. complex that stood before me. Either it had gotten taller or I had gotten shorter. Either way, it was daunting to look at.

Nocturne placed her hand on my shoulder and turned me around, indicating that the road leading back to the city was the way to go. I was hardly going to argue and we were quick to get going.

We were running now. My legs were burning. It was oddly comforting.

The roads were silent, only being lit up by the streetlights that still worked.

Where were we going? We couldn't just stay out in the open like this.

Soon enough, I got my answer in the form of a rickety, little house on the outskirts.

Chaotix. Home.

We slowed to a halt in front of the door. She turned to me briefly before turning back. She must have been grinning madly beneath that helmet of hers.

My face was blank. There was nothing there.

Her hand balled up into a fist and knocked loudly on the door. It was quick to open and she gestured for me to follow inside.

I remembered who lived here and I couldn't believe I would see them again.

Espio, Vector and Charmy; my extended family.

I took a singular breath before walking up the steps, but just as I was about to enter, a colossal boom came from behind me. It was deafening and sent me flying.

I felt myself falling. My chest tightened until I suddenly opened my eyes.

What was it that everyone else could see?

How could they get through each day still smiling?

Why was I incapable of feeling such blissful emotions?

Am I really incapable? Or simply not allowed?

It never dawned on me before just how truly broken I was, until I had time to stop and think.

As soon as it begun, I didn't want to think anymore. But, there's no way out of here. I gave up trying long ago.


End file.
